How to Protect Your Alone Time

If you ask any mom what she'd like to have more of, alone time would probably top her list--right after money and an extra pair of hands (and maybe a few new pairs of shoes). Here's why you should try to make time for solitude and a few ideas about how to carve out more time for yourself.

The Importance of Alone Time

Between housework and homework and cooking and laundry and bill paying--not to mention the myriad other things that pop up in a busy mom's day--there isn't a heck of a lot of time left over to simply sit and just be. If this sums up your typical day, you may want to make a change. Some studies show that solitude is as important to our health and well-being as sleep--and, sadly, most women don't get enough of that either. That's unfortunate, because we need downtime to process our thoughts, regroup and recharge. Being alone can help you feel more creative, refresh your energy stores and strengthen your relationships.

Consider Saying "No"

One reason many women don't get enough alone time is because they are taxed from dusk till dawn. But, if you take the time to remember that you are in charge of your schedule, it may be possible to scale back. One way to do this is to think about what you do every day. Many tasks, like feeding the family, scheduling checkups and tackling housework, are necessities. But, many others might not be as vital. Are you the only one who can water your neighbor's plants while she's away? Do you really have to paint the bedroom this week? Can someone else bake the three dozen cupcakes the school needs for its holiday party? Before you automatically say yes, think about how packed your schedule is and whether you can really squeeze in another task. If you don't have time, it's perfectly okay to say no, or, at least, "not right now." After all, you can't take care of everyone else if you're not taking care of yourself. If you allow yourself to get run down, you may not operate efficiently. So, consider giving yourself permission to relax. You may be surprised at how just a little "me" time allows you to approach each task with renewed energy and creativity.

If you absolutely must take on more than you can comfortably handle, it's perfectly okay to delegate. Your kids would probably love to bake cupcakes or feed the dog--chores tend to give kids a sense of confidence and accomplishment--and your husband may be perfectly capable of watering your neighbor's plants. Setting schedules can help too. Organization may allow you to complete tasks more efficiently, which, in turn, will leave more time for yourself.

Alone Time Defined

If you haven't taken time for yourself in a while, you might be at a loss for what to do. That's perfectly okay--the idea is to do nothing! To really get the most out of solitude, try to unplug--from your cell phone, your PDA, your TV and your music--and just let your mind wander. If you can't sit still, or you need to get out of the house, opt for a run outside or take a blank pad or canvas to a quiet spot where you can sketch or paint. You may even find solitude by simply locking the bathroom door and sinking into a bubble bath. In other words, consider doing whatever works for you, as long as it's relaxing enough that your mind can wander freely and you feel refreshed afterward.

If all else fails and you simply can't find a chunk of time to carve out for yourself, you can always try what one resourceful mother does. "When my day is crazy," she says, "I just fantasize that I'm alone doing something relaxing, even if I'm in the middle of chaos."