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10 Questions To Ask Your Fiance Before Marriage

Are You Really Ready For What Comes Next?

Getting married is one of the most exciting times in a person's life. Juggling all the balls between work and preparing for the wedding day can take up the majority of your time. You think you know the person you're getting hitched to, but too often that's not the case. Don't save the "big" questions for later. It's important to pause with your fianc' behind locked doors before the florist comes knocking for that next appointment, and get down to the nitty gritty.

1. Why Do You Want To Get Married?

Be honest. Is it for stability? To have children? To truly understand the motivations behind wanting to be married is essential to avoiding conflict and resentment later on. You want to see if this person not only accepts you for who you are-the good, the bad and the ugly-but also loves you for it and isn't interested in changing you into something you're not once you're married.

2. Where Do You Want To Live?

Think about where you both can be happy. It's important to poke your head out of the euphoria at least long enough to discuss how your partner envisions your future together. Choosing where to live sets the foundation for your new life as a married couple. Maybe you thrive in New York City, but he craves the country and Iowa City is more his cup of tea. You don't want to feel like one of has sacrificed too much. Be sure to make this decision together.

3. How Do You Budget?

Whether you have separate bank accounts, a mutual one or both, get a firm understanding of what your total income will be, your expenses and debt, and how much you both want to save. Is he meticulous about managing debt? What does he like to do on weekends and vacations? Bahamas or Brooklyn? Determine what his spending habits are, how they mesh with yours and who will be responsible to pay which bills.

4. Would Signing a Prenuptial Agreement Be a Good Idea?

Prenuptial agreements, or prenups, are becoming more of an option even for those outside of Donald Trump's income bracket. A prenup determines how the assets between two people would be divided in the event of a divorce. There are general cases in which a prenup is more recommended. Inform yourself of the pros and cons before deciding whether it's for you.

5. What Are Your Financial Goals?

Understand what he has in mind in terms of planning for your future. Does he want to own property or invest? If so, when? Is he planning for retirement? Discuss your credit scores if you are planning to take out loans or a mortgage to grasp what you can realistically afford. This will help you make sound decisions that you are both comfortable with.

6. How Much Do You Want To Work?

Are you a workaholic? Perhaps he works late and you're out the door at the crack of dawn. If your schedules don't jibe, figure out when you'll make more time for each other. If you want to have a family, it's all about time management, so discuss who can get more time off and how.

7. Do You Want To Have Children?

Five? None? This, as many have attested to, can be a deal-breaker. Being clear about whether you both want children, when and how many, sets a healthy boundary regarding what each other's expectations for having a family. Engage in playful dialogue about caregiving to see what roles you may each take on if and when you're ready to take that next step.

8. What About the In-laws?

How to deal with family once you're married is a sticky subject. Where to spend the holidays and how often to spend time with loved ones can drive some people crazy. Take this challenge head on by putting the needs of your relationship first. Ask him to work with you to keep the lines of communication open now with family so you are able to set some ground rules.

9. Do You Have Spiritual Beliefs?

Religious and spiritual differences may seem insurmountable to some, but whatever the case may be, learn about his core values. This will be vital, especially in determining how you want to raise children if you plan to have them. Be specific about your expectations as husband and wife and in parental roles.

10. How Do You Deal with Conflict?

When you fight, is he the first to apologize? Is he able to forgive? Make a deal-breaker list. Write down all of the things that you absolutely cannot tolerate in a marriage and have him do the same. This helps create workable boundaries. Undoubtedly, problems will arise. How you react to his ability to handle stress and vice versa will be essential to the happiness of your marriage. Plus, making up can be fun too.




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